Musings

What I think about when I probably should be doing something more productive.

On our recent vacation to Pennsylvania, the boys and I had the hottest hot wing anywhere at Quaker Steak and Lube in State College, PA.  Try their "atomic" wing, rated at 150,000 SHU.  You actually have to sign a liability release before they will serve even one of these wings to you.  We each ate only one.  It was the most painful culinary experience ever!!!  They are only for the brave, the bold, the insane, and those with something to prove.

With my Texas roots you may not be surprised at either of these claims, though the circumstances were somewhat abnormal.  When I was twelve years old, three friends and I hiked a couple of miles or so outside of town (Kermit, TX) to a small ranch.  There was a small pond close to the windmill and watering tank.  The idea was to swim in this pond.  When we arrived we were somewhat frightened to see about a dozen or so head of cattle lying leisurely in the hot Summer sun around the pond.  So, we proceeded to shoot each of them in the rear with our BB guns.  I discovered that you can move a cow approximately ten feet per BB.  It took us around half an hour to herd those cows away from the pond and out into the pasture, each of them ten feet at a time.  When hit, they emit a visceral moo, arise, move ten feet, then plop back down.  You can do the math to arrive at the BB/cow/foot moved equation.  That was my only experience driving cattle.

On the way back to town I walked very close to a four foot diamond back rattlesnake that was coiled by the side of the path.  My friends saw it and pulled me back.  We then shot the snake with our BB guns until it was dead, which took about another half an hour.  We carried it back to town on a stick.  I kept my share of the skin for years.

I felt like John Wayne!!!